i look upon the moon and stars at 10:30 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

well... its been a boring week.. nothing much happened... weather damn hot lo.. dont feel too well... cant slp well at night.. n i keep having wierd dreamz... n i mean vvv wierd... haihz... headache sial...

anyway.... our music club T-shirt is coming out... its in striking orange colour n has 2 patterns... wif colloar(RM20) n without collar(RM 15)... the collared ones are limited.... onli 100 pieces.... yea... its gonna be nice... so.. hoo wants to order, can contact me.... while stockz last!

i look upon the moon and stars at 3:59 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

it's been a fucking bad day for me lo.. morning kena scolded by my mum.. went to sch.. tot it wud be better... n guess wad... saw my frenz quarreling.. after sch.. i tot everything has ended.. but no.. life wasnt letting me off so easily.. i went to lm to buy some things.. my mum called n asked me where i was.. so i told her.. i was afraid dat she might worry.. so i lied to her n say my frenz were with me.. but she didnt believe n asked my fren so tok to her... so i lied again n said they were somewhere else n told her i would call back later.. so i called my fren.. but she didnt bring her hp... gr8.. so i had no choice but to call sum1 else n ask her to call my mum n tell her shez with me... my mum didnt believe her n forced her to tell her da truth... my fren had no choice but to tell her... when i called back to explain... she was crying.. da 1st time i heard my mum crying so sad... i really didnt mean to lie to her.. but.. 1 thing led to another.. i really had no choice... after tuition.. went back home.. tot my mum wud cool down a bit.. instead.. she interrogated me like a prisoner.. she asked me.. what else have i been hiding from her... i knew she had found out something... but i didnt know wat it was... she kept askin me.. i really really didnt know.. n u know wat.. she went into my room again n searched my room... she read through all my cards... there was 1 frm a fren.. she mentioned something abt my ex.. gr8 lo.. n sh fould a slip of paper.. it was my conversation wid a fren... we were tokin abt my ex too.. dats even better... i ade told her.. its over between us.. she wouldnt believe... ask me to showed her my messages n stuff.. i did... but she refuse to read.. she said i would hav deleted it already... but its the truth.... y wouldnt she believe me?! she said i hide alot of things from her.. but i really dun wan to... there is no trust between us at all.. she doesnt even trust me 1 bit... how can she expect me to tell her everything? everyday i go to sch ade v tired... mood ade v bad... go home have to face her summore.. i'm really v tired ade... i ade have lots of problems n now 1 more added... y cant she trust me?????? i tried to explain but she wouldnt listen.. she keeps thinkin i went out with guys.. but i really didnt! i'm her daughter!! not any tom, dick, or harry! doesnt she know her own daughter? i guess i can never get her to trust me... i'm 17 already... y cant she give me a bit of freedom? i know she cares for me.. but there is a limit ma.. its like.. she wants to protect me from getting hurt.. but in reality, shez da one hurting me the most... now she even wants to interfere wid my personal life... i really dunno wat to do now.. can someone please help me? save me frm this agonizing life of mine.. really feel like dying now... juz give me a blade... or a few strips of panadols... get me out of this agony.. i dun wanna live anymore...

i look upon the moon and stars at 8:39 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

hey... last week went to kl fer da hols... my grandma's budday ma... had n open house budday party.... 150+ ppl came lo... it was like.. sooo crowded.. then u know lo.. all those "long lost" relatives... then they were like.. staring at me wondering hoo am i... haih.. wad to do.. then after they find out.. they will go like.. ohhh.... so u were da 1 i saw 10 years ago!!! u were a baby then! awwww! time flies! .......................... so sien diao lo... nvm la... the food was okay... but i didnt really had da chance to eat lo.. my cousin kept dragging me into da room to play wid him.. haih.. kids..

then went shopping oso lo.. went to midvalley... my mum n my aunt went to shop together... i walked alone... around there for.. 5 hours lo! haha... didnt know my mum n my aunt can shop fer so long... didnt buy much la.. juz bought a nice photo frame.. heh...

oh yea... i my dad brought me to MMU too.. both in Melaka n in Putra Jaya... hez planning to send me there i guess.. hhaa..so anxious... like wanna get me there as soon as possible.. haih... dad.... i'm still in form 5... i havent take my SPM yet.... hahaa.... nvm.. its good to have plannings too...

b4 i forget... wanna tell u guys out there.. the SSI Music Club website has been shifted to another website.. the add is http://ssimc.blogspot.com remember to visit o!!

k la.. dats all fer dis time! tune in nx time! chiaoz!

i look upon the moon and stars at 3:34 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

yay!!! my whole team sial.. heh... SJAM SSI NA TEAM 2004! woohoo!!! all chio buz lerr! hahaha.... frm top, Li Yinn, Me (Ying Tian), Jye Swei, Mei Shyuan, n Yi Xian! hope we can go out more often n take more photos! heh..

i look upon the moon and stars at 1:03 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

tada! dis pic hor.. dat guy frm da shop lo.. decorate until so many ding ding dong dong all over our heads... haha.. but.. i like it anyway...  

i look upon the moon and stars at 1:02 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

under the sea! haha.. like this pic v much.. heh.. yi xian.. u were right... i look nicer here.. hahaha....  

i look upon the moon and stars at 1:00 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

see da angel's wings? cute hor...haha.. all thnx to yi xian... so artistic... HAHAHAH! 

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:59 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

The last pic we took.. haha.. all of us were screaming like crazy sia..  

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:58 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

this was taken.. on our St. John Orientation Day.. nice sial.. haha.. dunno y suddenly out of no where, these 2 sesat guys appear in our photo.. hahaha! k la... intro a bit la.. frm da bottom row: Lingesh, Joel 2nd row: Liyinn, Mei Shyuan, Ing Ying 3rd row,Yi Xian, Jye Swei, Shu Min, Me( Ying Tian ), Joanna, n Chai Yee  

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:55 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

me juz came back frm cs! hahaa... today RAWKED man!!! haha!... me, yixian, jyeswei, liyinn, n meishyuan went out lo! woohoo!!! 5 of us lerr.... 1 whole team sial! its like.. we've been planning to go out together since like... form 3?? ahaa... today at last our dreams came true!! ahaa...

morning went to da dentist again ma.. check my teeth.. still hurt lo.. nvm.. then fetched yixian.. n we went to cs together.. met up wid jyeswei n liyinn.. waited fer meishyuan fer a while lo.. she was late.. aha.. nvm.. then met alot of ppl lo.. edna n sebastian.. hazel n kevin.. hahaa... 2 couples sial.. then hoo else.. oh ya... met aruna n wong yean at vivo! haha... damn sesat 1 lo them..

oh ya.. fogot abt sumthin.. we went to buy movie tix.. n met sheng loong n lek wen!!! haha.. our dear juniors.. my favourite in fact.. heez.. shhhh... haha.. then all thnx to lek wen.. i was forced to watch sum horror film... Hide n Seek.. nvm.. nvm... i forgive them.. ahha.. anyway.. lek wen's budday round da corner.. so.. HAPPY BUDDAY!!!! hha... oh ya.. n hui ru's oso.. HAPPY BUDDAY TOO!!! haha...

then went n take photo lo.. outside popular... quite fun la.. all of us got 2... 1 big 1 small.. onli dat liyinn la.. sesat feller... got 2 big 1! hahaa.. then da gal gave us a voucher ask us to go upstairs.. so we went there after the movie... take neoprints again! wahahahaha.. damn funny lo.. we were like screaming all da way.. ahhaa.. cuz we were arguing wad to decorate ma.. damn damn damn funny la.. i think when we left right.. every1 was like.. staring at us lo.. all siao za bohz... hahaha... then again we got 1 big n 1 small.. n again dat liyinn sesat again.. got 4 small ones! ahahahhah!!!!!

damn nice la today.. dunno when onli can go out wid them again ade.... exam round da corner ade... hmmm.. n spm too.. anyway.. today was real fun la.. really really fun... anyway.. gtg ade la.. goin to kl later... gotta pack! haha... tata~! peace~~~!!!

i look upon the moon and stars at 5:26 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

well.. today was a very disapponting day lo.. it was da st john area competition.. everything went smoothly.. our juniors did their best.. but da results were very disappointing... expected my ac team to get 1st de lo.. but then.. they got 3rd in da end... n da gals got 2nd.. haih.. suan le ba... nx year work harder lo.. although i wont be around anymore.. haihz..

juz now quarreled wid sum1.. n i finally made things clear.. u know hiding all those words in my heart feels terrible.. last ly.. got them all out.. n.. thnx siow... for standing up for me... really appreciate it... at last all my problems are solved..

anyway.. its gettin late.. need some slp.. really tired today.. k la.. chiow..

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:46 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

so today was my school's st john orientation day... well.. wasn't as good as i had expected... actually.. it wasn't good at all... dissapointing... have u ever seen juniors ordering seniors to help them... well.. dats right.. dats wat they did.. ordering us seniors around dispite we elected da whole comittee for them... n da mc.... horrible.. got us laughing frm da start to the end... terrible pronounciation sial... i really dunno wad to say la.. n da stupid teachers la... dun let us play wid water colour.. dun let us play wid water... but we played wid water anyway... but really boring la dis year... most of da members didnt come.. cuz of piano theory test ma.... then its like.. dunno la.. sien la.. then after the thing ended... went to cs... lagi sien... so crowded... n dunno y la... not in da mood lo.. so went back to school after eating lunch at cs... then chat wid yi xian n liyinn till 4.. then went for bm tuition... after tuition went to george n dragon! yummy sial... nice dinner.. loved da cocktail drink... although da vodka taste wasnt strong enough... heh..

anyway... i finally sorted out everything in my mind... made some decisions... so yarr... hope i wont regret lo...

i look upon the moon and stars at 10:17 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

today was a normal day... went to sch as usual... after sch went to buy triangular bandages for my juniors.. 21 sial.. all together RM 60.. haah.. tuition was fun today.. nice lo.. was laughing throughout da whole class lo.. its like.. there was this question so long... then we press da calculator right.. its like.. everytime diff answer de lo! haha.. oh ya.. speaking of calculator.. today kim stick sticker all over my calculator! hahaa... damn cute sial.. then... oh ya.. me got a new mei mei le! haha... yea.. then wad else... hmm.. hope i can solve my problems soon lo... driving me crazy ade.. hmm.. well.. gtg la.. nthn much to blog today.. mebbe tomolo will hav more lo.. tomolo is our st john orientation day man! woohoo! take care! tata~

i look upon the moon and stars at 10:00 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

okok... b4 its too late.. wanna wish mei shyuan ( my laopo) 1 last time.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! hehe...

i look upon the moon and stars at 11:59 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

heyz... today... not bad la.. at last my mood is gettin better.. today went to Resett after school to get sum st john stuff... Liyinn gave me RM 150 to buy da stuff sial.. but i onli used RM 50! haha.. then after dat went out n had lunch wid my godbro.. he treat me lerrr.. happy sial... me sooooooooo long nv go out wid him ade... like.. around 9 months ade? heh... then after dat went fer tuition lo.. got an A+ fer my essay! haha.. happy lo! then after tuition recieved a messagge i've been waitin fer 2 days.. well yea... oso happy lo.. ahha... so in all.. today was a gr8 day la.. lookin forward to tomolo.. mei shyuan's budday!.. 30 minutes to her budday... can start counting down ade... k la.. gonna wait till midnight n wish her happy budday... sign out!

i look upon the moon and stars at 11:30 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

haih... life is like shit for me these few days... haih.. i dunno wad da shit is goin on... these few days so fucking frustrated over some things... my head is gonna crack ade lo.. yesterday summore kena volleyball slam into my face lo.. so lucky right?! F la... life suckz like hell... n none of my parents seems to understand me lo... they onli expect me to get good grades... wat else do they care? nothing.. i'm in a freaking bad mood these days n none of them seemed to notice lo... all the things around me keep reminding me of unhappy things... make me cant concentrate in class... making my mood so sucky..

at least today sumthing nice happened lo... my godbro called me frm Aussie... n we talked for abt one hour liddat... nice la... didn't expect him to call me... anyway.. lifted up my spirits fer a while lo...

k la.. gtg ade.. damn damn tired... hope tomorrow will be a better day... chao

i look upon the moon and stars at 10:56 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

haihz.... today not feeling well seh... food poisoning... dunno ate wad.. then dunno y la.. bad things keep happening one after another... dunno y oso.. mebbe is my damned luck la... really feel like goin out lerr... mebbe long time nv go cs le ba... although i always went there last year... now seem to miss dat place sia.. ahah.. but no1 to go wid me.. miss da old times.. haih.. well.. guess i could nv re-live those days again... really missed form 4 seh... so nice lo.. so many nice things happen last year... n left all the bad ones for this year... haih... well.. i guess nthn in this world can be perfect... but sumtimes juz really hope tt sum people can juz treat me better... juz a bit.. i'll be happy enuf ade... really... i really wonder.. y sumtimes u put ur whole heart into sumthing.. or even sumone.. but in the end... u get nthn... nthn at all.. i've been through so many things... n all of these left me questioning myself.. y am i so stupid?

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:10 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

yay.... exam finish ade!! happy seh! haha.. dun think i did well in this exam lo.. didnt really study much... hari sukan lo.. nvm la.. muz work hard frm now ade... heh.. SPM year lerr... me scared scared arr.... hee.. anyway.. nthn much to blog recently lerr.. nthn much interestin these days... oh ya.. wanna reccomend a vvvvv nice song.. One Last Cry by Brian Mcnight/ Justin Timberlake/ Camile Valesco/ David Tao.... nice lorr.. feel like cryin everytime i listen to this song.. so.. go download ba! heh..

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:09 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon