Wednesday, March 23, 2005

it's been a fucking bad day for me lo.. morning kena scolded by my mum.. went to sch.. tot it wud be better... n guess wad... saw my frenz quarreling.. after sch.. i tot everything has ended.. but no.. life wasnt letting me off so easily.. i went to lm to buy some things.. my mum called n asked me where i was.. so i told her.. i was afraid dat she might worry.. so i lied to her n say my frenz were with me.. but she didnt believe n asked my fren so tok to her... so i lied again n said they were somewhere else n told her i would call back later.. so i called my fren.. but she didnt bring her hp... gr8.. so i had no choice but to call sum1 else n ask her to call my mum n tell her shez with me... my mum didnt believe her n forced her to tell her da truth... my fren had no choice but to tell her... when i called back to explain... she was crying.. da 1st time i heard my mum crying so sad... i really didnt mean to lie to her.. but.. 1 thing led to another.. i really had no choice... after tuition.. went back home.. tot my mum wud cool down a bit.. instead.. she interrogated me like a prisoner.. she asked me.. what else have i been hiding from her... i knew she had found out something... but i didnt know wat it was... she kept askin me.. i really really didnt know.. n u know wat.. she went into my room again n searched my room... she read through all my cards... there was 1 frm a fren.. she mentioned something abt my ex.. gr8 lo.. n sh fould a slip of paper.. it was my conversation wid a fren... we were tokin abt my ex too.. dats even better... i ade told her.. its over between us.. she wouldnt believe... ask me to showed her my messages n stuff.. i did... but she refuse to read.. she said i would hav deleted it already... but its the truth.... y wouldnt she believe me?! she said i hide alot of things from her.. but i really dun wan to... there is no trust between us at all.. she doesnt even trust me 1 bit... how can she expect me to tell her everything? everyday i go to sch ade v tired... mood ade v bad... go home have to face her summore.. i'm really v tired ade... i ade have lots of problems n now 1 more added... y cant she trust me?????? i tried to explain but she wouldnt listen.. she keeps thinkin i went out with guys.. but i really didnt! i'm her daughter!! not any tom, dick, or harry! doesnt she know her own daughter? i guess i can never get her to trust me... i'm 17 already... y cant she give me a bit of freedom? i know she cares for me.. but there is a limit ma.. its like.. she wants to protect me from getting hurt.. but in reality, shez da one hurting me the most... now she even wants to interfere wid my personal life... i really dunno wat to do now.. can someone please help me? save me frm this agonizing life of mine.. really feel like dying now... juz give me a blade... or a few strips of panadols... get me out of this agony.. i dun wanna live anymore...

i look upon the moon and stars at 8:39 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon