Monday, August 22, 2005

lets see... quite alot happened last week... got to know sumthin... abt my frenz... yea... now i really know where i stand in their hearts... now i know my importance in their lives... i should have known long ago... i juz didnt want to admit it myself.. i didnt wan to admit they juz dont care a shit about me... they wouldn't even care if i was dead... yea... so called good friends of mine ehh... i knew that was goin to happen since i got into dat class... i dunno y.. i juz knew it... i hoped it wouldnt happen.. but again n again it did... i'm getting tired of all these arguments n cold wars... i realy had enough.. wad izzit dat i hav done wrong to get all these? y do u ppl juz like to treat me like sum trash or garbage? throwing me around where ever u please n juz dumping me in da dustbin when u finally get tired of playin with me? hello! i'm a human being here! i have feelings too ok? y izzit always my fault when most of the time it isnt? y izzit i'm the 1 being ignored when u are the ones who did me wrong? y izzit when i'm absent n sick but no1 seems to give a shit abt my absence? now i know y... cuz u ppl nv treated me as a friend.. yea... i know u'll say i'm too much.. but go home n think abt it urselves.. wad hav u ppl done to be considered as i friend? mock at me? ignore me? having cold wars with me? not telling me wads goin on? sharing things among urselves n acting stupid when i ask abt it? or come to me when i got sumthin u wan? ask for my help when there are things u ppl cant solve? THANK YOU VERY MUCH... I DONT NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT.. if that is wad friends are for, i'd rather i nv got to know u ppl in the 1st place. i really hope u ppl will read this.. dont think that by ignoring me, i'll forget abt it some time later.. i'm not goin to! now u know y i'd rather skip school than to spend my time wid u ppl... u nv give a damn abt me anyway... all u care abt are guys... once they r there, u juz completely forget abt me.. as if i was nv there in the 1st place.. u think i dun mind.. u think i dun care... izzit so? wad if ur friends did the same thing to u? u think u'll feel nothing? u think u'll juz act stupid? no.. not me. n after all these time, i've realized da level of trust u ppl hav in me... i've known u ppl for 5 years... some even longer... but what are the answers i get everytime i ask u abt sumthin? u ppl nv tell me anything at all... all u tell me is that its a secret.. but all of u know abt it n talk abt it among urselves... even wid ur guy friends when i juz sit there like a dumb ass not knowing anything.. u think thats fun? let me tell u.. it isnt. time after time i hav been telling myself.. u ppl r my friends... n time after time i found me lying to myself... its time for me to wake up... i've really had enough with u ppl... whether u agree o not wid wad i say... i'm not goin to be nice anymore.. everytime i try to be nice.. u ppl juz take me for granted... this is da laz time i'm keepin quiet... believe me.

i look upon the moon and stars at 1:15 PM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon