why do ppl juz like to call me names? i know i'm not pretty, i dont act like a gal.. fine.. but pls dont call me weird names and expect me to take it as a compliment ok? i know its never something good... n every1 refuses to tell me y... i dont even know wad to react to these names.. Its like goin back to my high school years where i suffered for 1 whole year... I dont even know who my real friends are.. all these insecurities are coming back... the same stuff happening all over again...

maybe i should juz revert back to how i used to be...

i look upon the moon and stars at 3:53 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

I know.. i'm the extra 1... i always am..

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:39 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

Yea.. recital is finally over.. We've done it again.. although this year the PA sucked.. nonetheless, the quality of our songs were better... in fact, it has been getting better every year.. seems that our emcee is interested in getting our songs into the music industry.. hope everything works out.. :)

finally i'm free from all the stress.. all our hard work paid off.. it was great working with alvin n having him as our director.. made many new friends along the way..

photos will be up soon..

p.s. I'm still sick..

i look upon the moon and stars at 12:53 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

i'm officially sick... hows dat?

got another bad news from the emcee... hopefully everything will be fine...

y some people dont understand that we dont have much time left??? haihx..

I'm so vexed and tired... n now that i'm sick...

kinda missed practice today.. overslept... i totally knocked out... from 6 to 8... had weird dreams..

i'm coughing like nobody's business... i dont know how am i supposed to sing if i continue coughing...

i really need a break from all this...

i look upon the moon and stars at 4:55 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

got some bad news from the hair n makeup sponsors today.. haihx.. luckily we had a laz minute idea to fix the problem.. 1 thing we learnt today.. quote from alvin:"money doesn't solve everything."

tml alvin will be goin down to jb to get the event t shirts.. hope everything will be fine...

anyway, today's practice was quite okay... every1 performed quite well..

ticket sales are not gd enuf... will need to put in more effort to sell tickets tml d..

I'm falling sick~~

i look upon the moon and stars at 2:21 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

judging from today's rehearsal... i can say some songs are not up to standard yet... including my songs... i'm really extremely stressed out now...

y cant some ppl understand that there are only 4 days left before the recital.. 4 FREAKING DAYS~!!! n they still wanna make changes... they r still unsure of what to play... they dont even knw the chords... dont they feel at least A BIT nervous?

n the 2 songs i'm singing.. i totally screwed it.. i'm really worried about my singing.. i keep going out of tune.. it would be a disaster if i go out of tune on the night of the event.. haihx...

i really need all the help n confidence for these last few days to make this event successful...

i look upon the moon and stars at 2:59 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

i thought everything would be fine today... didnt seem so... was asked to go for practice when the total number of ppl showing up for 4 song practices were like 4 ppl only? pls la if there are no ppl, juz cancel off the practice... its saturday n i dont even get a day off..

it was halfway through practice.. when some1 said sumthing to me.. i couldnt take it anymore.. walked out of da room n cried.. luckily there was some1 with me.. the same person that made me cry.. ironic isnt it? he took me on a car ride around campus... talked to me until i felt better.. i'm really totally stressed out..

i look upon the moon and stars at 2:33 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

I have been through a lot of ups n downs these few weeks.. really getting frustrated over lots of stuff.. recital would be one of them.. I really don't appreciate people not turning up for no reason.. If you r not coming, let me know at least.. don't go MIA when i'm frantically searching everywhere for you..

Another thing.. a phone call yesterday made me miss my class.. great..

I'm getting really short tempered these days.. really cant keep my temper down.. but so far i have not shouted at anybody.. yet..

n i'm really stressed out singing... n no1 is taking me seriously... when i tell them i'm stressed.. every1 just brush me off like i'm talking crap.. fine.. n when others get stressed.. ppl go to them n calm them down.. n when its me, the juz tell me:"you'll be fine." End of story. why is it that no1 is listening to me at all? do i look like i'm dat strong and i'm able to take in everything? even the stress and the nerves? i seriously cant take it.. but anyway.. who cares? no 1 will..

ok i'm getting emotional.. haih.. better stop my ramblings.. signing out..

i look upon the moon and stars at 4:29 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

I feel so stressed out n tired now.. I duno what am i doing wrong.. my voice just doesn't sound right.. every1 is telling me theres something wrong.. but when i ask more, no1 can tell me what did i do wrong.. I'm so frustrated at myself... I'm worried i might just spoil the song.. i dont want the comments to come out like: "this singer sucks", "she cant sing at all", "she went out of tune", "she totally spoilt the song".... N i onli have 2 weeks to make it right... what am I supposed to do?

I think i've been pushing myself too hard recently.. with all the practices n stuff.. I had an asthma attack 2 days ago.. n its the 1st time it ever happened to me.. I started coughing suddenly n the next thing i knew it, i had difficulty breathing.. took me 10 minutes to regulate my breathing again.. i broke out in cold sweat... i was shaking all over by the time the asthma stopped... i couldnt even talk properly.. hope it doesnt happen again..

I'm addicted to coffee recently... at 1st it was 1 cup per day... started drinking more n more.. i had 4 cups of coffee today itself.. n this has been going on for 2 weeks.. n its not helping to keep me focused... i cant seem to feel the effect of caffeine anymore..

theres something else making me very frustrated recently.. i have made things clear.. hope things will be fine soon..

i look upon the moon and stars at 1:59 AM
> 0 stars were shining bright even without the moon